Sunday, February 08, 2009

Two strikes

Lest you think I've got women crawling all over me and I can pick and choose at wiil, it's not always my choice not to date someone anymore. For example, when it comes to Vietnamese chicks dumping me, I'm batting 1000.

I first met "Hiney" (Allie provided the nickname, a variation on her name since Allie is too cracker to pronounce that foreign stuff) back in September. I saw her profile online and, although it didn't have a lot of details, I sent her an email. She responded in kind and we eventually arranged a meetup. We spent a long Saturday afternoon getting to know each other and had, I thought, I really nice time. So nice, in fact, that she agreed to see me again the following day. A busy week or two went by, broken-up by a few emails and phonecalls, but her birthday was just before mine so I planned to take her out on a fancy third date/birthday dinner. We had a very nice (read: expensive) dinner at a steakhouse, plus dessert brought back to her place where she opened a bottle of wine. She stayed across the room from me all night, so nothing happened and I went home. Our fourth date was scheduled for the day after my birthday. I texted her what happened and that I needed to reschedule.

Sidebar: I'd like to point out here that when a friend of mine recently sent me an email that she'd been in a car accident, the first thing I did was pick up the phone. Her email was specific to the details of the crash and how she was doing, so it wasn't that I needed more information. It's what you do when you give at least A shit about someone.

But I never knew whether or not Hiney got my text message, because she neither called nor texted back, so I called her that evening and got her voicemail. She never returned that call, so a few days later I sent her an email. Two weeks passed, by which point I had written her off, when I finally got a reply. Her email said that she didn't think there was any chemistry between us and she wished me luck. Her revised online profile, however, now indicated that she was looking for "less drama." I thought about apologizing to her for wrecking my car, and her evening, but decided to let it go.

Dr. Hottie, much more recently, was another Vietnamese girl that I liked the looks of and sent an email. Dr. Hottie is, as you might have guessed, a doctor and a hottie. She cut right to the chase and suggested we meet for drinks. We spent a very nice couple of hours at a wine bar getting to know each other, then met for BBQ a few days later. I don't like to come on too strong, so I gave her a little room. A week went by and I hadn't heard from her, so I called, just to touch base. Voicemail. She returned my call the following morning, but said more than once that she hadn't expected me to answer. In other words, she was hoping to leave me a brush-off message. The phonecall was very brief. Another week has gone by and I haven't heard from her, so I'm forced to assume that she isn't interested. There are other subtle clues, and I won't bore you with the details, but I'm certain that I've been dumped again.

It's 2009 and I hate the state of things. What really pisses me off is all that "He's just not that into you" bullshit. And it IS bullshit. When did it become OK to not tell someone you're not interested? I don't like having The Talk, but I do it because it's the right thing to do. Attraction works both ways. If a girl can't call a guy, then she's just not that into you.

Monday, February 02, 2009


I totally forgot one of the main things I wanted to write on that last entry, euphemisms. I want to read your best euphemisms for Crazy Chipmunk in the comments.

I'll get the ball started with the first two:

- She's cuckoo for Cocoa Puffs.
- She's selling furniture WAYYY below wholesale.