Wednesday, December 31, 2008

Year in Review

Wow, no blog I've read so far today has used that headline. How odd. DIBS!

2008 was not a terribly good year for me. I know it was decidedly BAD for some of you, but I think we weathered it (Ed. note: *groan*) pretty well, on the whole. I'd like to recap as much of the year as I can remember, but my memory really sucks right now. See, I've noticed that a side-effect of my seasonal depression (which is still raging right now) is that it turns my memory to swiss-cheese. I think I've managed the memory-loss pretty well, but it still has the potential to be bad for my friends. If you've told me about your new boyfriend/girlfriend/job/disease/car and I failed to ask you followup questions in subsequent conversations, I think it's because of the SAD. Or else I have mad cow. Just speculating here, but maybe it's a subconscious self-defense mechanism for getting me through perceived hard times. They say that the adrenaline released during a traumatic event helps cement them in your memory (unfortunately making it worse by forcing us to relive painful memories), so why wouldn't it work the other way? Depression should therefore block memory formation.

ANYWAY... 2008, the year in review:

  • Hurricane Ike may have been the biggest event of the year. It had the biggest local impact, as there are still blue-tarp roofs, tree roots, and as-yet-unrebuilt homes all around the Houston area.
  • That lead to a need to replace the siding on la casa de manos pequeños. Unfortunately, I hired my dad's handyman, not an experienced siding contractor, so a job that should have taken 1 week took 2 months. (I know you're thinking of the line from The Money Pit - "two weeks! two weeks!" but I prefer another one - "You testing missles here? Yeah, it's real hush-hush though.") I should write more about this later.
  • Before both Ike and the siding debacle, I tore up my patio plants and redesigned the landscaping. Granted, it's still just a design, since I didn't want to put new plants in the ground while the 3 idiots (see above) were trampling all over the place. And now it's too cold to plant, so I'm waiting until March. But my patio is going to look awesome. I took before pictures, so keep an eye out for the after.
  • I went on a haunted tour of Houston with a fellow blogger and her mother, who kept groping me inappropriately every time we got on and off the bus. (And now she won't return my phonecalls!)
  • I spent some quality time with my grandmother, who told me some great stories about my ancestors: Some stuff I knew, a lot of stuff I didn't know, some stuff I knew but thought was wrong anyway. No matter how good the quality time is, however, you never want to hear your grandmother tell you about when she missed her period.
  • I wrecked my car, with a lot of help from a fake-tittied bimbo in an H3. I guess I came out ahead, since my new car is beautiful, but the promise of ass still has yet to materialize.
  • Speaking of ass, I did go out on a few dates. The best thing I can say about them is that they gave me excuses to come up with nicknames. In chronological order, they were: BabyMamaDrama, Hiney, NobodyExpectsTheSpanishInquisition, LawyerNotALawyer, and The Stray Chipmunk. I'll write more about these soon.
  • I only read 9 or 10 books this year, which was short of the one-a-month I wanted. The book that I'm reading now is the reason: A Random Walk Down Wall Street. This is the investor's bible and it's massive. I should be done in another week or so though, then it's back to one-a-month.

Resolutions for 2009:

  • Date more. Eight or nine dates with 5 girls over a span of about six months just isn't cutting it. I'm going to renew my membership to Match and get more active. If nothing else, it'll help me with my next resolution...
  • Blog more. I'd like to blog at least once-a-week. Of course, it'll help if I have something interesting to write. I'll start off by writing about the last batch of women. We'll see where it goes from there. I'll post book, music, and movie reviews again, and I'll tell all about the siding debacle.

That's all folks, see you in the new year!

Friday, December 05, 2008

'Tis the Season

Now that Thanksgiving is over, it is the season for holiday parties. Here's a tip from your uncle tinyhands:

You know you've had too much to drink if you fall asleep, even a little bit, while taking a leak.

(Ed. note: Please get really, embarassingly, shitfaced drunk, but do so responsibly.)