Friday, July 07, 2006

Love Me Do

My life is left up to chance, not a game of chance, so I don't play.

My friends often wonder why I don't take the initiative, when it comes to meeting women. Perfect example was Thursday night at the bar with Crystal and her friends. She wrote a little bit about it here. My side of the story is that four cute girls were having their own girls-night-out and yeah, I noticed the cutest one of the bunch. I'd steal glances over her way from time to time and I caught her doing the same once or twice. Eventually she came over to me and insulted my friends which is, honestly, an interesting technique for a woman. I've seen guys do that, play the cockblock card, but the twatblock is a new one on me. I just thought it was funny, not to mention being completely shocked that a woman was approaching me of all people. (In her defense, all the other guys in our group were gay, so she didn't have much to choose from.) As it turns out, the insult was basically a dare from her girlfriends, who I hope made good and paid for her dinner. We chatted for a minute or two, and when she discovered that I actually knew the girls she was insulting, she was mortified. She and her friends bolted for the door and I did not get her number. Not because she was running the other direction but because I didn't ask.

So why didn't I ask, you ask? First, she couldn't have been more than 22 and, although I could pass for 25, I'm not. But more importantly, when I take initiative it ends badly. Like a rat who gets an electric shock trying to get the pellet, I have been conditioned not to try anymore. Although I haven't written much about it, I have made my share of moves over the last 2 years. The conditioned response is that I lose a friend, having crossed the line that cannot be uncrossed. If it's someone I still see on a semi-regular basis, such as at school in the past, it ends up that she can't stand to be in the same room as me. Passing in the hallway is to be avoided at all cost. If it's someone I don't yet know, but want to (such as online), the friendship immediately ends, and email addresses, IM IDs, and phone numbers get changed.

So even with the potential of a pellet, why would I opt for the shock? No, it's not a guaranteed shock and yes, I still really want the pellet. But now we'll never know. I hate the finality of that, never, but I don't know any other way that lets me get out of bed in the morning.


At 6:24 PM, Blogger The Tart said...

Ratios & spreadsheet with tell you ... go get shocked! I did & my ticket finally won the lottery. ; )

Hey how was the roadtrip. I must read back, k?

The Tart

Ps. Stop reading this & head out for an evening shock. *wink*

At 7:25 PM, Blogger Allie#3ga said...

quit being such a pussy and ask her already.


At 8:49 PM, Blogger Inanna said...

I gather you're not into S&M then? Conditioning sucks. You must rage against the machine my friend!

At 2:32 PM, Blogger Crystal said...

dammit, hands.

you are never going to get laid with that attitude.

At 4:41 PM, Blogger tinyhands said...

Tart- Winning the lottery is great, but paying the taxes sucks.

Mimi- Quiet you.

Peach- The conditioned response is a byproduct of primal intelligence. You of all people should understand all things primal. ;)

Crystal- Feh, I already told you that you missed your chance. Step aside and let someone else try.

At 11:29 PM, Blogger Beth said...

Sadly, I relate with you more than I should probably admit. At least you can say you have your share of moves in the past, I usually just gawk and pretend I'm mute.

But if you find a way to get to that pellet without getting shocked, please let me know. I could use some advice...a lot of it. :-D

At 12:26 AM, Blogger tonia said...

yeah, but if NEITHER of us crosses the line, then the line is, well, never crossed...

At 9:00 AM, Blogger Crystal said...

the correct answer is: i did not ask for her number because she insulted my friends, thus making her undesireable due to her cruel nature.


At 9:02 AM, Blogger Crystal said...

btw, there were 7 straight men there. well, one of them may be a bit confused. so apparently you were #1 in the 7.

At 1:00 PM, Blogger tinyhands said...

Beth- I don't understand, gawking and pretending I'm mute IS my move.

Tonia- If a tree flirts in the forest, does anyone get wood?

Crystal- So how do I justify your cruel nature, oh slayer-of-men? If I was really #1, I think we should go back this week to test that theory.

At 3:10 PM, Blogger Crystal said...

Hands - I may slay men (they usually deserve it), but at least I am nice enough not to insult them first. If some dude came up to me and said something about you, I would punch him in the face and ask how his mother managed to raise him without any manners whatsoever.

You are proving my point that men go after the bitchy girls.

Just sayin.


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