Sunday, June 11, 2006

I'm not Spanish Fly, I'm Cossack Fly*

I may actually go through with my threat to buy myself a mailorder Russian bride. Not content with the women I've been meeting here, I guess I've just been too picky. Insisting on a woman with whom I share a common language or nationality is just plain greedy. The pain of yet another job rejection, on the other hand, is eased by instant love in my inbox:


Greetings! Let me to be submitted. My name-Tatyana. I loved your history and I wanted to get acquainted with you! To me of 29 years, I Russian. I work as the trainer in fitness the center. I love work, nevertheless I love jokes And I love laughter, I adore adventures. I the good girl, but beauty not The most important in a life. I estimate the person for his ideas and actions. I Have correct and romantic character! I believe in destiny and I like to Dream of the beautiful future with the person of my dream! If you want to answer such person, I with pleasure Will apply a photo in my ambassador of the letter. I wait your sincere letter. Tatyana.
(Actual unedited email)


*Other considered titles:
-It's not jungle-fever. I've got gulag-fever.
-Your daddy is a thief for stealing the czars from the sky...
-Thank God for the fall of the Eastern-Cock-Bloc.
-Quit Stalin and just do me.

11 Comments:

At 9:00 PM, Blogger Inanna said...

Man, she's the one, I'm tellin' ya!

 
At 9:23 PM, Blogger Allie#3ga said...

or..

that's not a potato in my pocket, i AM happy to see you.

or


I'd like to St. Peter her square....are you a natural red square?

oh, i could go on for minutes, but i won't.

 
At 10:09 PM, Blogger Sass said...

story of my life.

 
At 11:24 PM, Blogger Allie#3ga said...

oh, and maybe tatayana will ask you to "take, take her home"

 
At 12:42 AM, Blogger tinyhands said...

Peach- Ok, cool. I was just waiting all this time for your approval. ;)

Mimi- Minutes? Not sure I could say the same.

Sass- Maybe your sponsor could hook you up?

 
At 3:58 AM, Blogger Kristin said...

Hell why not! Stranger things have happened! No?

 
At 2:15 PM, Blogger Amanda said...

brilliant.

maybe her dog's name is sammy davis, jr., jr.

(it's not funny unless you get that reference, i hope you do...it is from "everything is illuminated," watch the movie if you haven't already.)

 
At 2:47 PM, Blogger Dayli said...

Too funny! Lol.
Or:
I to laugh. very joke.

 
At 6:08 PM, Blogger Beth said...

Been a long time lurker of your blog, but I have to come out and tell you that this was freakin' hilarious!

Loved the "Quit Stalin and just do me" title. Just loved it!

 
At 7:58 PM, Blogger tinyhands said...

Kristin- Stranger things have happened and will continue to happen and you can read about them here.

Amanda- Sorry haven't seen it yet. I'll try to find some time in my busy schedule to download it.

Dayli- Hmmm, maybe I should be ordering a mail-order Israeli wife...

Beth- Thanks! That made my day. I see we have some common friends.

 
At 9:45 PM, Blogger Beth said...

If you're referring to Inanna and Jeanette, please don't believe a word they say about me. :-P

 

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