Tuesday, June 27, 2006

Can I get a witness?

I'm back. Back from where? Back to what? A guy has got to have some secrets.

You're probably disappointed that I don't have a great story to tell. I should probably make one up. Ok, I drove to the Port of New Orleans where my Russian bride was coming off of a cargo ship. No, that's not it. Umm, how about the one where I met a nice girl on a new dating site, littlepeopleinlove.com, and we went to Vegas and got hitched with her standing on a stack of phone books? (Yeah, that's borderline offensive but more appealing than the actual woman I was seeing whose voice sounded like the Welch's grapejuice girl.) I've got it: I've been playing the HGTV drinking game, where every time someone says "clean, simple lines" you do a shot and I wound up in the hospital with a BAC higher than my GPA.

As I explained to Meg at the Stuckey's near mile-marker 15, I'm a bit of a curiosity to all who know me. She showed me her trailer, then her tattoos and how one of them appears to talk when she does this thing with her hips. When I tell you that I hit that, I'm talking about the road.

7 Comments:

At 8:39 AM, Blogger Mike said...

You disappear for a week and then you don't even tell us where you went? You're the worst blogger ever.

 
At 9:21 AM, Blogger Kristin said...

Dude, we're your friends. You can tell us, we won't tell. Promise. It's just between you, me and the entire internet.

 
At 1:21 PM, Blogger Allie#3ga said...

my vote is that he was in jail.

hopefully no one made a man out of him :)

 
At 2:41 PM, Blogger tinyhands said...

ikeMay- Maybe she doesn't want me to say anything. Yes, embarassed and ashamed is the most logical explanation.

Kristin- If we're such good friends, you won't mind loaning me some money. I need a new roof.
(PS: I believe 'internet' is always supposed to be ploural - internets)

Mimi- That's an excellent idea: Everyone should vote where I was last week. For the winning answer, I'll go back to last week and blog about it.

 
At 9:08 PM, Blogger tonia said...

fine. No S.Africa stories OR pics for you! miss you

 
At 11:45 PM, Blogger tinyhands said...

tonia- You wouldn't miss me so much if you'd answer your phone once in a while...

 
At 12:13 AM, Blogger Beth said...

Let me guess, you made it to Jersey, looking for that floozie in my town? And having found too many to choose from, you gave up and went to Atlantic city instead where you hit the jackpot in nickel slots and only went back home to blog about how you're moving to Jersey cause you found the girl of your dreams, only she doesn't speak a word of English, so not only are you drafting a post about your trip, you're also looking online for ESL classes.

Do tell....

 

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