Tuesday, July 18, 2006

If I Fell

Today I spent the day at the zoo.

If you've ever been to Houston, you know it's hot.
If you've ever been to Houston in July, you know it's steamy.
If you've ever been to the zoo (any zoo), you know it smells of poo.

Pop Quiz, Zoo Edition:
1)The Houston Zoo in July smells of hot, steamy poo.[T/F]
2)No matter how loud, my mp3-player does not mask the smell of hot, steamy poo.[T/F]
3)It is impossible to pick-up girls amidst the smell of hot, steamy poo.[T/F]
4)No matter how inexpensive the pizza slices, the smell of hot, steamy poo will curb any appetite.[T/F]
5)Squirrels like pepperoni.[T/F]
6)Despite the COMPLETE lack of signs, only the monkeys are allowed to masturbate at the zoo.[T/F]
7)You should not eat the alfalfa pellets from the vending machine in the petting zoo.[T/F]
8)Mothers of small children that have wandered off think it's funny if you walk up to them and say, "maybe the dingo ate your baby."[T/F]
9)It is possible to not giggle at the camel toe.[T/F]
10)Zoo officials will escort you to the exit if you try to teach the parrots dirty words.[T/F]

Answers: T, T, T, T, F, T, T, F, F, T, MCCCLV

*Bonus Points will be awarded for wishing the She-chidna a happy birthday free of hot, steamy poo. (Because it's winter down under!)


At 10:47 AM, Blogger Mike said...

Maybe they'd let the monkeys give you a hand job.

At 9:12 PM, Blogger Beth said...

Did someone say hand job?

At 9:38 AM, Blogger Cootera said...

Squirrels like pepperoni? Even with the scent of hot, steamy poo?

At 2:38 PM, Blogger Jammie J. said...


Hand job and camel toe. My day is complete.

At 2:59 PM, Blogger tinyhands said...

ikeMay- Dude...

Beth- Don't encourage him!

Ang- No, they just push it around the plate and pick out the vegetables.

J- I'd be lying if I said I hadn't thought about you the whole time. (re: the poo, that is)


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