Tuesday, May 10, 2005

Step 1: Get Drunk

The lovely and talented April tagged me and gave me yet another reason to stop reading y'alls blogs. But I'll answer my 5 and/or add a few, then tag the next lucky losers...

If I could be a ninja (Tinyhands)
If I could be a fly on the wall (Tinyhands)
If I could be a rodeo clown (Tinyhands)
If I could be a celebrity (Tinyhands)
If I could be totally at peace (April)
If I could be on the other side of the world (April)
If I could be a cat burgler (April)
If I could be a supermodel (April)
If I could be in a movie (April)
If I could be a music executive (The Man In The Middle)
If I could be a grandparent(The Man In The Middle)
If I could be a computer hacker(The Man In The Middle)
If I could be a professional basketball player(The Man In The Middle)
If I could be a Customer Service Representative(The Man In The Middle)
If I could be an artist
If I could be a marketing director
If I could be a nanny
If I could be a psychic
If I could be an emergency medical technician
If I could be a firefighter
If I could be a designer
If I could be a policeman/woman
If I could be a teacher
If I could be a scientist
If I could be a farmer
If I could be a musician
If I could be a doctor
If I could be a painter
If I could be a gardener
If I could be a missionary
If I could be a chef
If I could be an architect
If I could be a linguist
If I could be a librarian
If I could be an athlete
If I could be a lawyer
If I could be an innkeeper
If I could be a professor
If I could be a writer
If I could be a llama-rider(by Ogre)
If I could be a bonnie pirate(By Teach)
If I could be a servicemember(By Jeremy)
If I could be a business owner(By Blue 944)
If I could be an actor(By Blue 944)
If I could be an agent(By KelBel)
If I could be video game designer(By KelBel)
If I could be a comic book artist(By Stoli)
If I could be a hooker(By Pollo Loco)
If I could be a crack addict(by Elizabeth)
If I could be a porn star(by Elizabeth)
If I could be a mime(by Garrison)
If I could be a domestic engineer(by Rick)
If I could be a chimney sweep(by laine)
If I could be a masseuse(by laine)
If I could be a taxi driver(by Brian)
If I could be a priest(by Brian)
If I could be the Sherrif Of Nottingham(Karen)
If I could be a dancer(Karen)
If I could be Santa Claus(Karen)
If I could be on a reality TV show(Dawn)
If I could be a magician(Dawn)
If I could be a rich man
If I could be perfect
If I could be a comedian

If I could be on the other side of the world, I think I'd be pretty happy. It's one of the few places I'm able to put everything else in the world out of my mind and be totally at peace. (Ape- That should count for 2, but I'll play fair.)

If I could be a teacher, I'd teach people how to save and invest money, not to buy stupid, useless stuff they can't afford (like spinning rims on an Accord), and how to get out of debt.

If I could be a music executive, I'd insist that all artists actually be able to play some sort of musical instrument, write their own music, and actually perform live. Lip-synch'ing and dancing to someone else's music aren't enough.

If I could be a policeman, I'd wait by a school zone and write tickets all day long.

If I could be a linguist, I'd be cunning.

I tag Mike (who always assumes I'm talking about someone else), Jethro (who always seems to get left out of the fun everyone else is having), and Esther (who seems to be having trouble finding something to say lately).

12 Comments:

At 5:45 AM, Blogger Allie#3ga said...

If I could be a linguist, I'd be cunning.

reason 354,333,999.4 why i'm glad we're friends .... holy moly that's funny - and also a line from Cabaret .... funny AND a showtune - it's a happy morning for allie.

 
At 6:37 AM, Blogger Esther said...

oi !

 
At 7:51 AM, Blogger Kate the Peon said...

You are quite cunning, my dear.

;)

 
At 10:13 AM, Blogger Mike said...

Crikey! I don't even understand this thing. Do I pick questions from the list to answer? Do I add questions? Where does my name go?

Will someone help me put my socks on, please.

 
At 11:53 AM, Blogger tinyhands said...

Allie - If you can't be original, be funny.

3sth3r - No thanks necessary.

KateyBear - I assume you recognize your influence?

Ogblay - Yes, pick any 5. If you want. Wherever. FYI- You've got your left sock on your right foot.

 
At 1:10 PM, Blogger Jethro said...

Bastard. I knew I couldn't fly under the radar long.

 
At 3:43 PM, Blogger Zelda said...

It's not fair. No one thinks I get left out because I have a big mouth. But no one has ever tagged me for anything. The only time I've ever been tagged was when I asked someone to do it. It was fucking sad.

 
At 5:31 PM, Blogger Kate the Peon said...

But of course, darling.

 
At 9:12 PM, Blogger tinyhands said...

Jethro- In case you can't think of anyone to tag when you're done, I've got a suggestion...

Z- Oops

Ktp- I'm hoping you're hungover tomorrow ;)

 
At 12:22 PM, Blogger April said...

I love how everyone bitches about being tagged hehe, and yet we keep passing along the misery! And I need one of those teachers BAD.

 
At 7:28 AM, Blogger Badaunt said...

You can start on your teacher gig by explaining to me how to invest money. I've been saving some (by accident, mostly), and don't have a clue what to do with it.

My plans so far include:

(a) a lovely long European summer holiday
(b) a new computer, maybe

and my retirement plan is to become a parasite on my family. No worries there, but I'll probably be expected to contribute SOMETHING.

But that won't use it all up, and I stopped sending money to NZ because the exchange rate became so awful. So it sits in the bank here getting half a percent interest or something idiotic.

(It's not very much, you understand, but it annoys me so much I keep wanting to spend it. The money in NZ (also not much) gets 6%.)

My problem is, really, that money bores me. Can you make it interesting? If it were interesting I could probably save more, on purpose and not just because I have a ludicrous schedule that doesn't leave me any time to spend anything.

I'm not kidding.

 
At 4:05 PM, Blogger tinyhands said...

Ape- The problem is that if I became your teacher it would be unethical for us to date. Therefore, I don't see how it's in your best interests. ;)

Theic- And you're already married. What's in it for me? :D

 

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