Sunday, February 20, 2005

Turn your head and cough

I like language, even though I know I resort to linguistic shortcuts sometimes. Dunno. Kinda. Yeah. Then there's the swearing. I live in Texas where they swear on the local news, so it's no big deal to me. I know some people say swearing is what people resort to when they don't have the vocabulary to express themself. Bullshit.

So I was thinking particularly about the vocabulary of the human body. Why do we refer to "brains" in the ploural, when we only have one brain? For example, we tend to say "she fucked my brains out" not "she fucked my brain out." Is there any other body part that gets special treatment like that? Not that I know of. I didn't do much of anything today, but I didn't tell anyone that I had my thumb up my butts or picked lint out of my navels. It's not solely about the brain being important, because I've never had my hearts broken. On the other hand, hair is singular when we have lots of it. Why doesn't anyone get their hairs cut?

ANYWAY...

So February is almost over and the deadline for summer interns is rapidly approaching. I only have a few positions open, so please get your applications in to me as quickly as possible. The deadline is still March 1 and letters of acceptance go out April 1. Late applications will be processed as fall applications. The deadline for fall interns here at my blog is July 1 and letters of acceptance go out August 1.

ANYWAY...

I had a great conversation with a friend this morning. I don't remember exactly how we got to talking about it, but I said I could name the people who really care about me on one hand (an exaggeration of course, but I was making a point) and I told her considered her the thumb. Know what she said to me? "That's what separates us from the animals. The thumb." What a great gal. Guys, go marry her.

15 Comments:

At 3:29 AM, Blogger J. said...

Love the title to this post. Covering the pie hole when a person coughs or sneezes is important.

My mom lives and works in S. Korea. Apparently, it is considered "dirty, dirty" to cover your mouth when you emit something from your mouth. Yes, much better to put those germs in the atmosphere.

I have no app. to turn in, sorry.

 
At 7:14 AM, Blogger Kate the Peon said...

Um...Jeanette...I don't think that's quite what TH meant by that title.

Just a thought.

 
At 8:01 AM, Blogger Hooch said...

I just hope whoever it is warmed their hands up first.

 
At 9:30 AM, Blogger Tasty said...

I get my hairs cut.

 
At 9:59 AM, Blogger Allie#3ga said...

yeah - at the salon they charge for an 'eyebrow' wax ... and i always get both of them worked on.

and HEY, i have thumbs!

 
At 12:10 PM, Blogger mellancollyeyes said...

Funny, talks a lot, daydreams more than necessary or healthy, laughs too loudly at jokes that aren't funny, neurotic about weird things, 60 wpm, 10 key by touch, usually calls into work with bullshit excuses, uses "bullshit" in applications, prefers to watch television that work on projects, can be bossy, badmouths coworkers beind their back, often spreads gossip (only the good stuff, though), 3.5 GPA.

Do I get the position? I really need more to beef up my resume...

I think that, by brains, people are possible referring to the two hemispheres of the brain, which are connected only through the corpus collosum. Technically, should a corpus collosum be severed, then the person would actually and literally have two brains. Therefore, the human "brain" is really composed of two brains, which are connected by tissues. There is also the aspect that there are 3 types of brains that comprise "the brain" as we know it. These 3 sections, the brain stem, the cerebellum, and the cerebrum, are acutally all distinct and separate from one another and are able to operate independently, but are connected so as to create a completely functioning human. It is possible to be alive with only a functioning brain stem, although the quality of life for such a person would be very poor. Therefore, it is not techinically incorrect to say "She ficked my brains out," due to the fact that anatomically we do have many brains.

NOW do I get the damn position?

 
At 12:20 PM, Blogger Badaunt said...

One of my boy students wrote that his girlfriend was beautiful because she had a very long hair, and I've always wondered which one he was talking about. (Your comments haven't helped me to solve this problem.)

 
At 3:24 PM, Blogger Mike said...

How'd the date go, Louie?

 
At 4:08 PM, Blogger Allie#3ga said...

i don't think i want my brains FICKED out. other was of loss i can handle - but ficking doesn't seem worth it ... =)

 
At 4:46 PM, Blogger christ*el #3tx said...

i got nothing on the brain(s) thing.

but i CAN use the word 'patella' in a sentence.


and for the eyebrow thing, i usually wait until is really is just one brow and then have them seperate it into 2.

AND i have thumbs too. and digits as well. phalanges, perhaps?

 
At 5:01 PM, Blogger tinyhands said...

Jeanette- In China we saw posters of people spitting little bombs that were obviously meant to discourage the practice.

kTp- As a matter of fact, you're right.

hooch- I don't think it would have helped, although I was writing metaphorically again.

 
At 5:02 PM, Blogger tinyhands said...

Stacey- And it looks loverly.

Al- They don't charge double, do they?

Adrianne- Yikes, with that kind of brain-fucking knowledge I'd be an idiot not to give you a position, wouldn't I? ;)

 
At 5:05 PM, Blogger tinyhands said...

Theic- I never claimed to be useful.

ikeMay- I expected you to read into the title and the content and draw your own conclusion. Not really, but I'll let you know as soon as I'm back on solid foods.

Al- "Fick" isn't in my dictionary. A little help please?

 
At 5:07 PM, Blogger tinyhands said...

#3tx- So shexxy.

 
At 7:19 PM, Blogger Heather said...

For what position are we applying? How many spots are open? I need details before I commit.

(Was the first paragraph dedicated to me?)

 

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