Sunday, February 06, 2005

The ER Dream

I don't usually remember my dreams at night. They say everyone dreams, but it's a rare occasion for me to wake up and know what happened in my subconscious. If I do remember a nighttime dream, it's often in black and white. I don't know what that means. On the other hand, I'm more of a day dreamer, and I don't mean that in the artsy-fartsy way that most people do. I literally day.dream. I'll be sitting in class, in a restaurant, or in traffic and I'll envision something outrageous happening. And I see it in vivid color and full-motion action. Maybe I'll see myself jumping up onto the table winging chips and salsa (and the plates and the bowls and...) at the guy whose cell-phone won't stop ringing. Or maybe I'll jump up onto the desk to slow dance with a beautiful co-ed. Usually there's some sort of jumping up on the furniture involved. Often I'm shooting other motorists in the face. That might be real though.

So imagine my surprise to wake up the other morning and have a dream fresh in my memory. I was the main actor, of course, but there was another blogger as the leading lady. Decency prohibits me from saying who, but it wasn't an (entirely) indecent dream. I was a young doctor/med student/resident/whatever at County General hospital in Chicago. A young woman patient came in complaining of all sorts of generic conditions. (The real blogger doesn't complain like that, so don't go thinking you've figured out who.) I ran test after test on her, drawing blood and every fluid she had looking for the hidden clue. I remember very specifically looking at something under a microscope and finding a very distinct K-shaped virus/organism (also not a clue to her identity). It meant nothing to me because I was just a lowly student, so I had to go find an attending physician to present the case to. Doctor Carter was available for consult and we discussed the case but he didn't know immediately either. So, off to the medical library. I eventually found some reference in a journal and brought it back. He explained to me that what I had found couldn't be the cause because it could only exist in the most sexually depraved and morally corrupt person(s) on the planet. Having read the history I had taken on this woman he knew that couldn't be the case. Unfortunately I had to explain that I knew this woman outside the ER and I hadn't included her extensive sexual history on her chart. I knew I was in trouble for leaving it out, but that's where I woke up, telling him that I hadn't taken down her complete history.

20 Comments:

At 4:26 AM, Blogger Hooch said...

I'm curious to know what you were feeling... if anything. Did you feel that you had to defend this woman's honour somehow? or that you felt conflicted that you liked her even though perhaps you thought you shouldn't? Or that you were disappointed? Or angry that she got you in trouble?... so many questions!

 
At 7:55 AM, Blogger Zelda said...

A sexually transmitted disease affecting only the most morally depraved. You are Catholic. :-)

 
At 8:48 AM, Blogger evilsciencechick said...

Zelda - that's EXACTLY what I was thinking! :)

 
At 11:53 AM, Blogger tinyhands said...

Hooch- Good questions. I think I was a bit angry that I had been trying to keep her secrets and then I got in trouble for it. I don't think I was trying to defend her honor, I was vaguely amused that this was happening to her. (I know, terrible thought)

Z- Takes one to know one! :P

ESC- I don't know you well enough (yet) to slander you similarly! ;)

 
At 12:50 PM, Blogger Badaunt said...

You can't remember your dreams? What's the fun of sleeping if you can't remember your dreams?

You need to practice. Sounds mad, but I once took part in an experiment where I had to write down my dreams every morning for two weeks, and the trick is to write a few key words BEFORE YOU'RE EVEN AWAKE PROPERLY, and it must be before you speak, or even think coherently. Your mind tries to trick you. "That wasn't interesting enough," it says. "Go back to sleep." If you don't write something immediately you won't remember a thing later.

But if you can get two or three key words down, the rest will come back to you, and after a while of doing this you start remembering more. I started off remembering one or two dreams a night, and ended up with 6 or 7 massively detailed and colourful epics, nightly.

Dreaming is one of the weirder things we humans do.

 
At 12:58 PM, Blogger J. said...

Wow. Lately my dreams have been of people's eyes drying up and their sockets getting really large. I like your dream much better.

 
At 1:28 PM, Blogger Jethro said...

You didn't document a complete history? That's it, your next dream is going to be you losing your license to practice. LOL!

 
At 3:09 PM, Blogger Heather said...

Wait...How do you know her "extensive" sexual history? Are YOU her extensive sexual history?

"Young woman patient"?...How young?

Eww, mister.

 
At 4:19 PM, Blogger me said...

Now I want it to be Heather. Is that wrong?

 
At 4:23 PM, Blogger Zelda said...

Tell me about it, stud.

 
At 4:29 PM, Blogger se7en said...

i'm with Zelda, we want more juicy bits! oh ya, that's what it's all about weeeee!

 
At 4:40 PM, Blogger tinyhands said...

Theic- No, it doesn't sound mad at all. Way back in the 80s I read an article about lucid dreaming, where you realize that you're dreaming and then you can control things in subtle ways. That very night I had a lucid dream where I remembered tips from the article to keep from waking up, and it worked. I'll practice remembering.

Jeanette- My contacts have been bothering me lately. You sure there's not some connection? At least I can say my dream wasn't about you.

Jethro- That's the realistic part about my dream. I'd make a lousy med student, always skipping that step.

 
At 4:49 PM, Blogger tinyhands said...

Bonnie Heather- I'm pretty sure I've never laid a finger (or anything else) on this particular blogger who lives more than a few hours away. And I was being kind by calling her a young woman- she's beyond the age of consent.

ブーレベン- Yeah, that's pretty wrong. Let's hope she doesn't mind you called her sexually depraved and morally corrupt. She'd find a way to make it cute and lovable though.

Zelda- Not that kinda dream sweety. There was no Drakkar to be smelt.

Lucky 7- Hey, you're the one having juicy dreams. And I find it kind of odd you following up those stories of the sex-capades with a "wholesome" dream. You're suspect.

 
At 5:36 PM, Blogger Heather said...

I'm beyond the age of consent, but that doesn't make it un-gross.

If it's possible for someone to be a sexually depraved and morally corrupt VIRGIN, I guess you can call me whatever you want. ::cute, lovable smile complete with the "ting" sound effect that accompanies overly-white teeth::

And scene.

 
At 6:04 PM, Blogger J. said...

I knew you didn't dream of me. I have a guess as to who it was, but *zip* I'm not telling. ;)

 
At 7:29 PM, Blogger mellancollyeyes said...

Since you like to pretend my poetry blogs are about you, I'ma return the favor and pretend I'm the mysterious young woman.

It makes me feel important. :)

 
At 7:32 PM, Blogger April said...

Well, I want to know who it is!

It's funny that you don't normally remember your dreams, because this one sounds really detailed. Interesting, though.

 
At 7:44 PM, Blogger Zelda said...

That's three. Vengeance will be mine.

And if you can't regognize a line from Grease, well you're just too cool.

 
At 9:44 PM, Blogger tinyhands said...

Bonnie Heather- Just knowing that you find me utterly repellent is all I need to get me through the week.

Jeanette- If you'd like it to be about the person giving you grief lately, you're welcome to co-opt my dream to suit your purpose.

Adrianne- *whew* I'm so glad you understand. Thanks for being this week's sexual cesspool. ;)

Ape- Adrianne's taking the blame for this one. She's wrong, but I won't turn down a volunteer scapegoat. When I do remember one, there's usually a lot of peripheral detail (like all the equipment and the machine that goes 'Ping!' in the ER) but the action is very short. I wake up feeling like the total elapsed time was less than 5 minutes.

Z- I failed the test. I'm Eugene, the pie-throwing geek. Fortunately, I threw in a movie reference above.

 
At 12:07 AM, Blogger Heather said...

Anything for my tinyhands.

 

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