I dreamed the whole thing!
That's right, this whole weekend was just a cheesy flashback sequence straight out of Dallas. Except in Houston. You're buying that, right? Oh come on, just a little? If you hadn't guessed by now, despite my protestations, I did consider Friday night to be a date. For those of you who aren't fully familiar with the male psyche, here's the short version: Go ahead and ignore what we say, it's probably bullshit anyway.Friday night didn't go badly, but it didn't go well either. I was nervous as hell because for some reason I thought that nice girl wanted to have a relationship with me. That's how messed up I am- I go right from "Hi" to relationship. So, to take the pressure off myself, I decided to drink a little tequila. No, I didn't get ripped, though I probably should have. I'm going to have to look into the chemical equation, but nervous, tequila, and sushi don't go together. I felt like I had swallowed a 5# sack of flour. On top of that, the bar we went to turned out to be a smokey biker bar. I don't really mind smokers (I don't smoke) and I don't mind bikers, but I went in full-on preppy mode with a sweater vest and ankle boots. I don't know how those bikers resisted kicking my ass. I would have, if I had felt up to it. The talking was good, until the music started and it was too loud to talk. There was more good talking in the parking lot after the show. And more good talking Saturday night when she came over to watch a little TV and have chocolate chip pancakes. I was still feeling like Dufus Rex, king of the dorks, so I still didn't entirely manage to relax and enjoy myself and her lovely company.
So that's really all there is to it. Jeanette wins the prize for coming closest to the mark with her comment about seeing "normal" through someone else. Even though I thought I was, I'm definitely not normal (for the time being, anyway), and she knows it too. Fortunately she doesn't appear to be looking for anything more than friendship, so the only thing damaged is me and it may still be possible to carry on from here.
posted by tinyhands @ 11:59 PM
17 Comments:
Hey, making a new friend is good :)
if she calls you friend - she's a lucky woman ... and if you were able to rekindle a friendship, you're lucky too. and i hate to break it to you but .. you're normal.
I'm getting flashbacks.
When I was young and foolish (beyond belief) I thought I was utterly unattractive to men. Also, I have four brothers, so to me guys were just guys. Who could never POSSIBLY be attracted to me.
The result was that several times I went on 'dates' only didn't know they were dates, because I just thought these guys were nice friendly blokes, like my brothers, and it DIDN'T EVEN OCCUR TO ME that they had any other motive than wanting to chat with me.
Moral: You never know what's going on in the barstool beside you, or across the dinner table.
(And before you ask how could I be that stupid, did I grow up on another planet? YES I DID, IT WAS NOT MY FAULT. And anyway, I learned.)
AND ALSO:
One date. ONE DATE! And she came over the next day to watch TV and eat choc chip pancakes! If that's failure what do you call success? Just how fast do you want this thing to go anyway? Are you a cockroach on funny chemicals?
So the nice girl still wants to be friends? She still wants to hang out? Maybe see a movie, get some coffee?
How is that NOT a successful weekend? Were you expecting a bright beam of light from heaven and a chorus of angels humming softly as the nice girl proclaimed her undying love for you on the spot???
Friendship can be a beginng as well as an ending...and either way...YOU WIN! So calm yourself down. Deep breath...goooood.
Zelda and I started off as friends.
It was only a failure on my part because I get my brain get in the way of having a good time. (I'm leaving it home next time.) There's nothing wrong with friendship or friendship that someday evolves. You guys only think I'm normal because you get the best part of me online. I promise, it was much worse in person.
Don't hate me for asking, but did the divorce mess with you? You've always struck me as someone who was pretty easy-going.
And Jethro's right. We started out strictly as friends. It was a great formula for us, so don't give up.
Yeah, I'm with #3GA on this one, I hate to break it to you, but, you are normal. On the other hand, I think I'm normal, also.
Aside from that, "normal" isn't even a virtue. Many times, it denotes a lack of courage. :-)
Don't be so hard on yourself. Damaged, my toe!
Divorce is kind of like getting into a really bad car accident. You're injured and you hurt inside. Inside injuries always take longer to heal.
What you're going through is a healing process of your insides.
There have been times I've felt broken. A lot of times. There have been times when I've told Tony that I don't want to saddle him with a broken person.
He reminds me that I'm not broken, that I'm getting better. But getting better, healing, takes time.
Friends can help you heal.
Z- I don't hate anyone for asking a question. I didn't think the divorce messed with me, but it must have. Add to that being out of work and a virtual shut-in for so long, I feel like I've lost my socialization skills.
The biggest shock to my system has been someone showing interest in me and my apparent inability to react rationally. I have faith that it'll return in time, but I'm still shocked that I'm not ready to date-date. I guess Cute Chinese Girl is off the table, so to speak.
Patience is the key. It's like I said, have fun with what you've got. Don't take things too seriously. Only then, can things fall into place. Don't make the mistake of rushing into anything.
eh just do what i plan on doing...a house full of cats, middle of the bed, and as fat as you want, because ain't nonody there to give a crap.
ahh the single life forever!
Ape- Because I'm just that cute?
Jethro- Yes sensei.
Adrianne- What's the male equivalent of crazy cat lady?
i don't even know where to begin. obviously, we'll talk privately for most of it, but i have to say:
1-it *was* successful and
2-i had no idea you had on ankle boots!
p.s. - you *know* i wanted to stay on Sat nite, but my probation officer wouldn't hear it!
My sister and her husband were pretty recently divorced. They're both having trouble dating. My sister just got dumped hardcore by a bartender. It sucks to be her right now.
DAMMIT!
i wanted her to have a tail.
*pout*
you never let me have any fun.
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