Monday, July 31, 2006

Help!

[Ed. note: I'm not yet sure how appropriate that title is just yet, since I don't really have this entry planned out in my head. I'm writing on the fly, so it may come out as pure rubbish, in which case you'll never read this.]

I watched Under The Tuscan Sun again last night. I can't think of a better movie about how to move on and learning how to live your life again. There's a scene early in the movie where a friend confronts her saying, "I think you're in danger of never recovering. You know when you come across one of those empty shell people, and you think what the hell happened to you?" I totally relate to that, since I've felt empty for a very long time (even before the divorce).

Saturday night is a good example, since I went to the Houston Shakespeare Festival at the Miller Outdoor Theater. They performed The Tempest, which is my favorite. I made a few phone calls that afternoon, but I couldn't find any one of my friends who would want to go see a play (let alone Shakespeare) so I went by myself. I arrived early enough to get a good spot and I set up my little chair on the lawn, watching the crowd slowly fill in around me. For the most part, the crowd was composed of couples, albeit most of them were older by a dozen or more years. But there were a fair number of young couples, at or about my age group. They'd come in, spread out their blankets, and lie down together under the slowly darkening dusk. Their coupledom made my solitude all the more conspicuous, if only in my head. I tried to imagine an attractive, young woman approaching my little zone, asking if this 'seat' were taken. No, my dear, I'm quite alone. I never quite imagine her joining me though, as it's my explanation that seems to steal focus.

In any case, I finally realize how strange it must be to other people my age that I have a favorite play by Shakespeare. I also have favorite operas, classical works, paintings, parks, and buildings. The word you're searching for is anachronistic. Everyone has a favorite movie, song, or food, but the similarities end there. Strangely, I'm not all that sad about being unhappy. One of the decisions that I've made recently is that I'm going to try to enjoy the things that I enjoy even if I have to suffer through them alone.

14 Comments:

At 9:28 AM, Blogger evilsciencechick said...

Is it weird to have a favorite shakespear play?

huh.

mine is "much ado about nothing."

 
At 9:38 AM, Blogger kcterrilynn said...

Not as weird as you might think. Mine is 'Taming of the Shrew.'

 
At 10:17 AM, Blogger Beth said...

I'm reminded of a scene in "Sabrina" (the remake). The French lady had said something to the effect, "You seem embarassed by loneliness - but, it's only a place to start."

 
At 1:34 PM, Blogger tinyhands said...

ESC- Ask Kev what his favorite Shakespeare play is and you'll see how weird it is.

KCTL- "I am asham'd that women are so simple / To offer war where they should kneel for peace, / Or seek for rule, supremacy, and sway, / When they are bound to serve, love, and obey."

Beth- Save me, Sabrina fair.

 
At 1:52 PM, Blogger Cootera said...

Tain't nothin' wrong with feeling set apart/in the wrong time frame. And there's certainly nothing wrong with enjoying something on your own. It is too bad you feel you have to suffer through something you love, though.

(Did I miss the point? Disclaimer: I'm sick -in the head, no less- and on meds so I'm not myself...)

 
At 2:27 PM, Blogger The Tart said...

I was watching it too. *sigh*

Smooch,
The Tart
; )

 
At 4:43 PM, Blogger Sass said...

atta boy. Maybe before you were trying to hard to enjoy everyone elses fancy.

August 12th is the next thing at MFAH

 
At 5:38 PM, Blogger Mike said...

I can't believe you're single. I can't believe you can't walk into a group of adult women, say, "Hi, I like 'Under The Tuscan Sun', museums, and theater' and not instantly get a date.

You should be a chick magnet.

 
At 6:23 PM, Blogger tinyhands said...

Ang- No, there's nothing wrong with it except for the continual feeling of jetlag.

Joss- It helps that Diane Lane is so hot, but yeah, love the film.

Sass- Yeah, I try too hard to make other people happy. No more of that though. And I too noticed the 12th. Hope to see you there. (Though the last one wasn't as awesome as the previous)

Mike- It's the "walking up and say" part I don't have down yet. How did you trick Hank?

 
At 9:47 PM, Blogger Janelle Renee said...

TH: I met Mike, and he didn't need to trick Hank--just as I'm sure you won't need to "trick" any girl into dating you.

Nice post. Keep going out there, Tiger!

 
At 10:27 PM, Blogger Mike said...

I drug her.

 
At 9:48 AM, Blogger Fuzzball said...

I was at The Tempest as well!

As for my favorite...eeesh. I might have to go with Much Ado About Nothing. Love that battle of the sexes.

 
At 1:41 PM, Blogger tinyhands said...

JR- Feh, I don't believe it. Some sort of sorcery HAD to be involved.

ikeMay- God I love roofies.

Fuzzy- It was well-staged, but I think I'm going to skip Titus Andronicus.

 
At 10:59 PM, Blogger Janelle Renee said...

TH: Sorcery... Yes, I think you're on to something. I bet his specialty is beep sorcery and his hatred of beeps is actually a cover.

 

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