Suggestion
Warning: This story does not have a happy ending...It was recently suggested to me that if I want to meet women I should get a dog and start hanging out at the local dog park. It was a reasonable suggestion I suppose, so I figured I'd sit down and figure out all the details. Now, since I'm practically homeless myself, I needed to get around the problem of the costs associated with a dog. There's the upfront fees, plus ongoing care and maintenance, not to mention possible very expensive veterinary bills. Since none of my neighbors have dogs, nor do I have any family within a reasonable distance (a blessing, but I digress), borrowing a dog isn't possible. So I figured I'd rent one for a couple hours.
I don't know anyone off the top of my head that rents dogs, so I did what any ordinary person would do, I surfed the web. I entered my search terms in Google and found a local company that rents the canine species. I'm a dog person by nature and maybe I was a little too eager to rent a pooch and hit the park, so I might have skimmed over the words "attack dog" and "guard dog".
...
The comments lately have suggested I should try to put a positive spin on things, so I'll spin it and say it worked like a charm- It was dates I wanted, and dates I got. Court dates. In my world, every silver cloud has a dark lining and this instance is no different. The woman wouldn't give me her name or number, but all the paperwork says "Plaintiff" so maybe she's related to my ex.
posted by tinyhands @ 11:59 PM
10 Comments:
TH, can I just say that it's stories like this that remind me of why you're my absolute favorite?
Har har har....
why must you poop on all my good ideas?
and to put a positive spin on it, maybe your cell mate "curly" will be looking for a long term relationship.
Perhaps you're a cat person after all. I know you can't walk cats (or at least not easily), but maybe you could be the lost kitten owner. Lost kitten owners don't actually need to own a kitten. You just wander around calling, "Here, kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty..." and looking pathetic.
(Or "Here pussy pussy pussy..." if you prefer, but I don't think it would work quite as well, even if it is more honest.)
chicks like guys who babysit too.. borrow a friends baby... and then you won't have another run in with Plaintiff. you might end up with a run in with Tide, or Clorox. but thats really not SO bad.
I guess getting a dog would've been cheaper.
Oh shit.
Aide- You can come whisper it in my ear over a steak dinner...
ESC- Love is love. Don't hate.
Theic- Cats love me. Pussy, not so much.
#3Moo- I was holding my niece yesterday when she ripped a good 30-second chili-dog blast. That's enough holding the baby for a while. "Are you crazy? You can't feed a baby chili!"
Jethro- I'm convinced there is NO cheaper way.
kTP- I know.
Hey, I'm not a hater.
Besides, there's nothing more beautiful in this world than the love between a man and his prison bitch.
Jeesh, if it's dates you want I could lend you my dog. Or a small child. Both work wonders in the eyes of a woman. (neither of which attack btw)
Renting dogs? What's next? Renting body parts. I could use an extra arm when i am carrying groceries
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