Thursday, November 18, 2004

Pretentious professor plagues pitiful pupils

I don't do the story justice, but my finance professor is at it again. Name-dropping. Self-aggrandizing. Nauseating. She told us, for about the 5th time, the story of one of her students who works for a local restaurant chain [aside: No name without an endorsement check] in the finance department and she's SO great that she helped this student write a spreadsheet that forecasts all sorts of financial data that they hadn't been doing, all on a Saturday morning and she did it from memory and, oh yeah, our final exam is going to be take-home and we should expect to spend between 7-10 hours on it, but she spent 30-40 hours on her take-home finals when she went to [Name-Drop] business school and she made 100% so they used her paper as the grading key. Somebody just dip this bitch in bronze already.

I listened to a LOT of music today and danced in my flannel jammies. I came up with a quiz for you, but it's only one question: When you get invited onto your favorite talk show as a special guest, which Beatles song would they play as you walk out from behind the curtain? I've narrowed it down to either 'Please Please Me' or 'The Fool on the Hill'. (aside: HA! I bet you thought I was going to say "I'm a loser" :p) I have guesses for some of you, but I'll give you the chance to embarass yourselves first.

Final thought: Who would win a boxing match between a T-Rex and Bill Cosby dancing?

21 Comments:

At 1:35 AM, Blogger tinyhands said...

Oh yeah, I forgot- She said 'supposably' about 50 times. [Did they go to the zoo? Supposably.]

 
At 1:43 AM, Blogger Cybele said...

Bill Cosby dancing and T-Rex boxing? Bill Cosby dancing as he's boxing a T-Rex? T-Rex dancing as Bill Cosby boxes? I can't even parse your question properly...

I hope they play "Paperback Writer" for me. And I hope it's Oprah.

 
At 8:15 AM, Blogger Inanna said...

Bill Cosby, hands down. Wow, can your teacher actually fit her head through the door? And Beatles song, "Help" on the Daily Show.

 
At 9:07 AM, Blogger Allie#3ga said...

alot of alliteration makes for anxious anchors ... or something like that ( and yes, i've watched the movie Broadcast News too many times )

and 4. which bill cosby .. the Dr. Huxtable variety or the activist one .... cause that's gonna change things to a point .. or are we talking about the "bang a gong" t-rex band ...... are you trying to trick me?!?!

and b. magical mystery tour .... or helter skelter

 
At 11:03 AM, Blogger tinyhands said...

Sorry, I didn't think the Cosby thing would be so tough. For those of you who don't remember (or live in a foreign country, SHEESH!), Cosby (as Dr. Huxtable) used to dance on the show: First scrunch up your shoulders then, keeping your arms at your side, bend your arms forward at the elbow. In rhythm to the music, bob your head like a chicken, take a slow-motion step forward while you alternately make a fist and jazzhands. It just always reminded me of a T-Rex, with their stubby little arms. NEVERMIND.

Inanna- I picked 'All You Need Is Love' for you.
Allie- I totally picked 'Helter Skelter' for you too!

 
At 11:05 AM, Blogger Zelda said...

Sexy Sadie for me and I also wouldn't mind a crack at the Daily Show, if only to tell Jon Stewart that he should have kept his Hebrew name. It would be funnier.

How's that for ego? Really. I'm unbearable.

 
At 11:06 AM, Blogger Allie#3ga said...

i don't know if i should be comforted by the fact that you knew my song choice song - or really scared - or offended :)

 
At 11:14 AM, Blogger Zelda said...

Oh, and I would pick t-rex to win. Cosby has the moves, but I think t-rex has the heart. And the teeth.

 
At 12:07 PM, Blogger tinyhands said...

Z- I picked 'Why Don't We Do It In The Road?' for you and Jethro, my two favorite bunnies.

#3- Actually, I was teasing you. I picked 'Her Majesty' for you, ya tiara-wearing wierdo.

 
At 12:25 PM, Blogger Allie#3ga said...

so i've gone from offended to flattered! and remember it's weirdo with the GREAT rack! :)

 
At 1:04 PM, Blogger Zelda said...

Boy, you really went for the obvious. :-)

Actually, if Jeth and I were to appear simultaneously I would pick that one and appear on Dr. Phil just so we could show all those losers how it's done.

If we were to appear on Jerry Springer, I would prefer Ob-la-di, Ob-la-da, and I guess the theme would be women who are unknowingly married to transvestites.

I'm taking this way too seriously.

 
At 2:00 PM, Blogger Heather said...

Umm...I'm really tired, so all of this is severely confusing me...And the Beatles were way before me time...But I'm gonna go with "I Think I Love You." Is that the title? Well, it's the start of the chorus anyway. You can figure it out.

Why are we picking Beatles songs?...OH! Talk shows. Okay. Definitely Oprah. Or Dr. Phil, after I have my Ph.D. Actually, I wouldn't pick a Beatles song...I mean, if I had my choice...What would I pick?...

I'm going to take a nap now.

 
At 2:00 PM, Blogger Heather said...

Crap, no I'm not. I have a class.

I'm quitting my education.

 
At 3:34 PM, Blogger Allie#3ga said...

i just threw up in my mouth a little bit!

 
At 6:00 PM, Blogger me said...

If it went more than four rounds, the T-Rex would have the advantage, although, the safe pick would be Cosby in three.

P.S. Thanks for the vote of confidence in my blog. It's nice to know that all of the validation my family withheld for those many years can now be found online… and for free. Thank you, Mister tinyhands.

 
At 12:45 PM, Blogger Jethro said...

Self aggrandizing professors. Hmmm...why is it they're not in the real world making serious money if they're so awesome?

 
At 8:31 PM, Blogger tinyhands said...

Bonnie Heather- Wrong. Oh so wrong. That's the Partridge Family, which is just wrong. And it's wrong too. I'll give you another guess, but if you say something by The Monkees you'll have hell to pay. (Note, I didn't have a song for you until just now, but I found a good one) Being before your time doesn't let you off the hook from knowing who the Beatles are...I bet you know some good double-reed classical stuff, eh?

Whiskey-Chick- But you forgot to name your theme song! And you don't have to call me MR tinyhands. "Sir" will do nicely, or just "tinyhands" because although it's descriptive, it snot my name.

Jethro- Oh, she's more than willing to tell us all about the money she made before the tech crash and how she got out just in time because she saw the writing on the wall that nobody else, not even the experts, could see and now she's teaching and it's a good thing because they're prosecuting all the people she used to work with but they shouldn't because they weren't doing anything that anyone else wasn't doing the only difference was that they kept a papertrail and they got caught, and really, who is stupid enough to leave a papertrail if you're doing something that you don't want to get caught doing? (Read that sentence in less than 10 seconds- She actually talks like that.)

 
At 12:16 AM, Blogger Jethro said...

Why am I not surprised?

 
At 9:23 PM, Blogger me said...

In my mind, you're Mr. tinyhands: A tall and tiny-handed man who lives in Texas. You own several big and shiny guns, but no mojo- although you are seeking visitation and, eventually, full custody.

I didn't pick a song, because, well, I don't believe in talk shows, I just believe in me.

 
At 1:01 AM, Blogger mellancollyeyes said...

I remember that Dr. Huxatable dance...I loved it, since it was so fatherly in that weird, embarrass-you-in-front-of-your-friends way.

"Across the Universe" if it was a sad show (see: Oprah)
"I'm Only Sleeping" if it was any other time of show

 
At 1:13 AM, Blogger christ*el #3tx said...

first: “Supposedly” is the standard form. “Supposably” can be used only when the meaning is “capable of being supposed,” and then only in the U.S. You won’t get into trouble if you stick with “supposedly."

second: i dont like the beatles. can i still be on the show?

thirdly: (i think they should ALL be thirds)
i have thought about this one, if i were a Baseball player, my song would be ThunderStruck by AC/DC. does that count?

 

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