Thursday, October 21, 2004


On the whole I'm pretty good at spelling things right when I either write or type, but when it comes to sounds I have trouble figuring out the right letters to use that someone else would use to correctly recreate that sound. That first sentence was way too long, but I think if you go back and read it again you'll understand. The other thing I'm not very good at is being succinct and as I mentioned previously, I need to work on it. I know why I'm not succinct- it's because when I actually speak I get interrupted. I speak slowly. Not short-bus slowly, so maybe carefully is a better word. In doing so, most people perceive a break in the conversation that allows them to jump in and express their point of view. It doesn't make me feel very good when people do this, because it signals to me that they aren't really listening. I may not be a great speaker, but if you're talking to me I will do you the courtesy of listening. Case in point, let's say I tell a story that begins, "So I drove down to Galveston last weekend" and I pause looking for the best turn of phrase to describe what a shithole Galveston usually is. At this point someone else jumps in to tell what he or she did last weekend. In case you don't know me, my stories rarely consist of one sentence, so the fact that someone would jump in at that point tells me they missed everything past "So." I think I need to start adding "The End" at the end of my stories so that people will know when I'm done. I'll have to tell people about this ahead of time so that they know to wait for "The End." Of course, I'm closet-OCD so I'd need to put a preface at the beginning like, "My Weekend, by tinyhands. Cast of characters, me. My story begins..." The other thing I could do is to talk like Ye Olde telegraph operator and say "stop" after every major point. Telegraph operators use "stop" after every sentence so that might just encourage people to jump in more often. Therefore when I type, usually in email, I am extraordinarily verbose because I finally have the opportunity to express my entire thought before you get to jump in and fuck up my story.

That isn't what I wanted to write about today though. Oh, one more thing, the dinner with my "best" friend turned out to be me as the third wheel listening to all of her stories, his stories, and their stories. A few of my stories were partially told, including my trip to China which is a pretty good story if I do say so. But noone was really listening, so I gave up. I went to FUCKING CHINA, and neither one of them asked about the Great Wall, the Forbidden City, or the terracotta warriors, all of which I saw and are as life-altering as anything I've ever experienced. After all the hugging and kissing and generally ignoring me they did at dinner the other night, it may be a long time before I call her again. But I guess the rule is that she retains best friend ranking until a challenger comes along. It turns out he goes to my school in the evenings one day a week, so now that I know what he looks like I can nod.

What I really wanted to tell you about was my sound. It's not gross, or at least I don't think it's gross, so don't worry. Whenever I see a pretty girl I absolutely CANNOT help making this sound. I guess it's kind of like the way a child says "O-o-Oh" when mom says they can't have something they want. It's followed very closely by a small sigh. The O starts at one tone, lowers in pitch, then returns to the original tone. It's not stuttered Os as though the child is in trouble. I don't open my mouth to make this noise, so I guess it kinda comes out my nose more like a "U-u-nh" including the sigh. A nasal sigh, if you can imagine. See? I can't describe sounds for shit.

But I know I make this sound a lot. Not so much because I want to bed all these pretty girls, but because I just want to be WITH them. Holding her hand, running my fingers through her hair, even massaging her feet at the end of long day would suffice. It's more intimate than sex anyway. I found another blog I'm obsessed with, read the whole thing. She's got a couple of pictures up that definitely induce the noise. This woman is funny and smart (though she doesn't think so). She's well-read and -travelled. Her politics are complete polar opposites of mine, but I can tell that she believes what she believes so much that she could convince me to change my mind. She's lonely too, so when I read about her wishing she had someone to be with the noise is both louder and more drawn out. And when I think about how far away she is and we'll never really meet I make the noise again, an octave or so lower.


At 6:01 PM, Blogger TheTart said...


Consider this a bread crumb like with Hansel & Gretel. I am in your woods, per se.

; )


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