as told to (your name here)

I first met her a few months ago when I was having lunch with a friend of mine. She works in the HR department at his company and he brought her along. He really likes her and, being married, thinks I need to hook up. It's not that I disliked her right away, but I was not attracted. I don't know about you, but I usually know very quickly whether or not I'm attracted to someone. Call it my hunter instinct. Maybe she was overwhelmed by the rapport that I have with my buddy- exchanging movie lines, heavy sarcasm and playful insults- but she seemed like a fish out of water. I caught her looking crossways at him when he dropped a not-altogether-inappropriate f-bomb. In public, mixed-company, I rarely curse like a sailor, but there's no question that I'm not a prude. The look she gave him, however, further solidified my not interested opinion.

Then she started calling and texting with some regularity, and when she asked me out few weeks ago, I accepted. I began to regret it right away since, although she asked me to a party at her friend's house, it was my task to plan everything and coordinate transportation, clothing, gifts, etc. She never really framed it like a date, and my buddy had planted the idea that she wanted to introduce me to some of her girlfriends. (Seed corn, my friend calls her. You never eat the seed corn.) I heard, through the grapevine, that she was at her company's Christmas party back in December, looking very good. So I figure I can afford to be seen with a not-unattractive wing-chick. Later, we went out drinking and bar-hopping and, while it wasn't what I would consider romantic per se, it was clearly a date. Unfortunately, she talked and talked without listening, without noticing that I didn't really want to talk about her work. She also talked about our mutual friend a lot, particularly how another girlfriend of hers thinks that they (she and my married friend) would make a cute couple. I know I've been out of the dating scene for a while, but have things changed so much that it's ok to talk about other people like that?

Since then, I got a dozen text messages telling me what a great time she had, asking if I had a great time, and how she really wants to see me again. (Ok, I get that, I really do. I'm a great guy.) But don't tell me stories of some desperate guy who keeps calling you and won't give you any space, then turn around and act desperate for someone else. Well, maybe desperate is a little harsh, but I did get texted AFTER she went out with that desperate guy. That's practically a booty call. Our schedules finally aligned and I had lunch with her this week. She let me pay, which made it that much easier to have The Talk with her. You know The Talk. The I'm-just-not-feeling-the-romantic-chemistry-between-us-but-I-genuinely-want-to-be-friends talk. She giggled nervously and said that she agreed with me, but it really sounded like she hoped for more.

Maybe this all comes across as mean, but that's not my intent. And maybe I'm being too picky. There just isn't any chemistry with this one, so I'll throw her back and cast my line again.