Tuesday, March 14, 2006

i = cos(xπ), where x = all odd integers.

Warning: I need to dump from the notebook. This should not make sense to anyone...
[Ed. note: The warning was originally "this may not". Second draft was "this will not"]

I want to grab you by the shoulders. More than likely I'd shake some sense into you, rather than kiss you, but I'd probably chicken-out either way so don't worry. It's just the mood I'm in, and it will pass, but it's very uncomfortable. The room is stuffy, my shirt is too tight against my skin, my neck is one solid vertebra, my head aches endlessly. I don't know why you think I'm strong enough to cart around your crazy in addition to my own. I can barely manage it alone and you just pile it higher and higher. If time is infinite and reincarnation exists, we have been and will be born into infinite combinations. You have been my parents. I am your lover. We have been enemies. We will be indifferent to each other. Try to imagine your current enemies as lovers you knew in a past life. Start with lesser enemies and work your way up to the worst person you've ever known. With this meditation, you should remember that just as you wish good things for your current best-friend or lover, so you once wished that for your worst enemies. Eventually you should be able to envision wishing happiness for even your enemies. Why is the easiest question to ask and the hardest to answer. Why? Because there is no answer. Why? Because no matter what I say, you can continue to ask why. Why? Because there are water particles in the air that refract the short end of the spectrum in all directions, such that the blue portion of the incoming light appears to be coming from everywhere. Why? Because the wavelength of the light is in just the right proportion to the size of the molecules suspended in the atmosphere. Why? Because God made it so. Why? Go to hell. Bringing God into it now seems like such a cop-out to me. Because you lack the ability to comprehend means that some divinity must therefore exist? Rhetorical question. *sigh* Yet another woman blogger pounded against love's shoals. Wouldn't it be funny if _____? Well, maybe not funny ha-ha. If your cats could talk back as much as you talk to them. If you noticed half as much about me as I do you. If I hadn't asked you out. If I weren't who you I thought I was. I almost typed 'if you weren't who I thought you were'. You're not though. We could still be friends. You talk such a good game that sometimes I just want to grab you by the shoulders...

7 Comments:

At 5:35 AM, Blogger Sass said...

um, that's hott.

 
At 9:11 AM, Blogger kcterrilynn said...

Um, I was told there'd be no math...

I love this: I don't know why you think I'm strong enough to cart around your crazy in addition to my own. Makes perfect sense to me.

 
At 11:14 AM, Blogger tinyhands said...

Sass: You know, there's not one little bit of that I understand.

KCTL: There's always math and you shouldn't need a calculator for that one. So maybe there's a little bit that makes sense.

 
At 6:32 PM, Blogger Inanna said...

Fascinating and beautiful in its own way.

 
At 9:03 AM, Blogger Gary said...

Brilliant!

 
At 1:24 PM, Blogger Brighton said...

Well said, well if I knew what you were saying exactly...
Well said.

I was watching Pride And Prejudice for the umpteenth time today and it occured to me that you very much remind me of Mr.Darcy.
And yes, that's hott.

 
At 5:34 PM, Blogger tinyhands said...

Inanna: Takes one to know one :P

Gary: I hope you meant the math.

Bright-one: You're too good to me. I'm spoiled for other women.

 

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