as told to (your name here)

Survivors

We survived another Valentine's Day.

At current count, I have 59 blogs saved in my "Favorites" list. Yesterday, there were 5900 entries on how much everyone hates Valentine's Day. It took me quite a while to get through them all, but the gist of it (and I'm saving you the time here, no extra charge) is that everyone hates it, including the married folk. Anti-sentiment sentiment from the unmarried was pretty clear, though nobody seems to be doing anything about it. Well, let me rephrase that- according to the 2006 CIA World Factbook, the world population is 6,446,131,400 (July 2005 est.) and the aggregate population growth rate is 1.14% (2005 est.). That means that at least some of you are hooking up. I tried plugging those numbers into The Excel Tool in every conceivable (no pun intended) combination, and despite my considerable skills with the software, everytime I asked it when I'd be getting some it just kept spitting back FALSE. So I think I need to upgrade my computer.

But while we're on the topic of The Excel Tool (see also: considerable skills), I decided to go back and look up a report that I wrote for my investments class last spring. I analyzed a public company and determined that instead of trading at $30.95, it was only worth $26.52. I wrote the report, turned it in, got my 'A' and went on my merry ('merry' being relative, of course) way. I went and looked up that company the other day and discovered that on 17 May 2005, barely a week after I wrote my report, the stock hit its 52-week low of ... wait for it ... $26.52. Now I ask you, when is the last time you heard that bald raving lunatic on TV give you a stock price to the dollars & cents? Right, he don't.

And I can't get a fookin entry-level job pouring that fool's coffee.

posted by tinyhands @ 11:59 PM