as told to (your name here)

Current events

Ok, it's not terribly current anymore, but I still love the story about Dick Cheney shooting a hunting buddy. I'm a hunter, so I've got the credentials to chime in briefly on the story that the news keeps getting hopelessly wrong. First of all, it's perfectly ok to call it 'peppering' when you shoot someone with a shotgun. I heard someone making fun of this term, but that's what it's called. I'm sorry Mr. Fake Newsman, but you just don't go around changing the meanings of words because you live in New York City. If you simply can't say peppered without giggling, you can say "stung 'im". Secondly, I've heard way too many people calling it 'buckshot' or 'BBs'. You shoot a quail with either buckshot or BBshot and there ain't gonna be a quail left to retrieve. It's called number 7 1/2 birdshot. Third, the media are the only ones up in arms about it taking so long to hold a press conference about the incident. And you know damn well that had Cheney come right out, they'd be all over him for holding a press conference when he should be looking after his buddy. That grumpy old man is damned if he does and damned if he doesn't, so don't expect him to shed a tear that you didn't get to grill him personally. But finally and most importantly the fact everyone has missed so far, is that it's a well-known Texas hunting tradition that if you pepper a buddy he gets a free shot at you.

In news closer to home, I want to thank all of my fellow Houstonians for being absolutely terrible drivers. Not just that, but inconsiderate. Yay Houston!

posted by tinyhands @ 11:59 PM