as told to (your name here)

Friday

I was just about to go get some ice cream and settle-in for a night of chatless boredom when a buddy called. Hey, some friends are coming over and then we're all going out. Don't know where, just come on over, but dress for possible clubbing. So I got dressed, poured myself a to-go cup, and went over. Beyond the first I wasn't driving, so ease up cowgirls. We caravaned over to WestU to pick up some dude, then over to the MedCenter to a party. Apparently the med school(s) just finished a round of exams so all the students were throwing parties and we knew a friend of a friend of a med student, so we're IN!

Party 1- Ohmydamn it's hot. We're in a 600 square foot apartment with about 50 other strangers. The hostess was a cute 20-something of, I'm going with Indian-descent (not that it matters- cute is cute), who kindly served me several glasses of, I'm going with rum & blue Hawaiian Punch. There were several other cute girls (yes, sadly they were all girls, not women) in attendance, but having arrived late the only standing room available involved the corner of the coffee table pressed deeply into my calf. A room full of med students and I couldn't find anyone to check me for a hernia. *sigh* The group expanded to include the friend of the friend (or maybe it was just the friend, it's not like I know any of these people) as we left for party 2.

Party 2- Caravan back to WestU where some more med students had gathered at what must have been a rented house. Cheap-ass IKEA furniture and no pictures on the walls? Yeah, rented. Ohmydamn it's even hotter here. Now we're in a 1200 square foot house with about 250 other strangers, spilling out into the garage, front yard, back yard. (This was not a difficult party to find.) Ok, it seems most of these people are third year, but still no one to check me for a hernia.
Some girl: Are you a third year too?
Me: No, I'm retired.
Some girl: You don't look old enough to be retired.
Me: No no, I'm quite old and I don't work.
Some girl: That's a cool jade pendant. Very asian.
Me: Yeah, I got it in Hong Kong when I ... (she walks away)
So I found the cooler full of trashcan punch which reportedly contained a whole bottle of Everclear. I say 'reportedly' because drinking a cup of that made me more sober than I was previously (which was unfortunately still pretty sober). Time to bust out of here and to a "club".

Club 1- Hey, let's drive around the block ONE more time, ok? So we go to this club that's pretty nice, but I'm the only white guy there. (Not a problem, mind you, just an observation.) So friend goes to the bar to retrieve drinks and brings back some rather large shots of something vaguely maple-colored. A little taste to see what it is, because not only can I not hear what he's telling me it is, I can't hear anything ever again, and it tastes like cough syrup. So I drink the shot of 'tussin and quickly order a 7&7 to wash it down. Dancing, merriment, more boozé, yadda yadda. Time for late night food.

Food 1- Late night Vietnamese. Garlic and bo luc lac and garlic and spring rolls and softshell crab and garlic. And then a meteor crashed and everyone died.

posted by tinyhands @ 11:59 PM