as told to (your name here)

Love in the Business School

She was in accounting. He was in finance. She was looking for a White Knight, but he was a bit of an odd lot. As he passed her in the hallway he exercised his lookback option. She was looking too. Despite the GAAP between them there was accrued interest. With great anticipation he wrote her a note. It was boilerplate mostly, since he wasn't much of a writer. Was she callable? Was she a book entry and what was her ask price? That was a standard error, and she recognized him as common stock, but it was a tender offer so she agreed to go out with him. She still had reserve and was factoring all of his liabilities. She told him that because of his maturity, her expected return was well before midnight. He took her at face value and made allowance for this shortened duration.

They never should have told their friends. Hers thought it was an adverse selection, that he had no real assets, that there was no chance for partnership, and that they wouldn't date him for any dirty price. His friends just wanted to know if she had any standard deviation, if there was a naked option, and if she would straddle him in a horizontal merger. He didn't think one date would warrant that kind of talk, no matter how he played his CARDs. After all, she was the controller and the preferred stock. His friends were just WACC. After a haircut, he set out to pick her up.

He straightened his collar, which looked like he had used a coupon at Goodwill. Although his CAR was a convertible she finally realized that they had no future together. As he fumbled with a CD, she began to think this date would last in perpetuity. This date had no salvage value and even a blind man could see the validity in her position. She gave him credit for trying but she just couldn't appreciate his present value. As she lept from the car she lost her balance and fell flat on her back-end load.

posted by tinyhands @ 11:59 PM