as told to (your name here)

AFV

I've just watched America's Funniest Home Videos which, now that I see it in print makes me feel really filthy, in a filthy kind of way. That show is so FAKE! There's a video of a guy who gets bit on the pecker by a turtle, and we're supposed to believe that it was spontaneously captured on film? Anyone who's been bitten on the pecker by a turtle knows that you have to taunt them with it, tease them with it, and basically slap them in the face with it for HOURS before they'll bite you. Even if you've got a particularly testy one (no pun intended) they'll growl and bark before they bite. Now if it was a rhino, those sumbitches are mean. They'd just as soon bite your pecker then ass-fuck you with the horn as look at you. Gators are pretty mean too. I once asked Steve Irwin how many times he's been bitten on the pecker. "Crikey! Not as many times as you might think, mate." I always imagined the Croc Hunter has some sort of cool James Bond/Jungle Survival wristwatch? Nope, it's a Swatch.

Gotta run, the final Kilborn is on...

posted by tinyhands @ 11:59 PM