Got To Get You Into My Life
Interviewer: So we really liked your resume and I'm glad you were able to come in.Me: Uh huh.
Him: We think you'd be a really good fit and we're prepared to make you an offer.
Me: Yeah, I don't know about the whole work-life balance thing.
Him: Ok, we've got a great subsidized cafeteria, a health-club and, of course, free parking.
Me: ...
Him: Did you have any specific questions?
Me: See, I'm just not sure that I can get here before 10am. I mean, I can but I just don't want to. I suspect that will be a source of tension between us.
Him: I see. We do ask that our employees work a full 8-hours from 8-5. We're prepared to offer you a salary upwards of $75k.
Me: You must be up out 'cho mind. *walks*
posted by tinyhands @ 11:59 PM
4 Comments:
Like a full 8 hours? In a row? Every day? Yeah, I'd've walked too.
What??? That's a lie. You only need to do that the first couple weeks. Then you start slipping out for lunch. Then gradually you come in a little later in the morning, start at 15 minutes and work your way up. And then you "have plans in the evening" so you start to leave a little earlier.
Before you know it, you'll have the schedule you want and the benefits you desire AND you can claim you're "always so busy" and a "productive member of society."
Not that I speak from experience.
Yeah, but does their health club come with a certified massage therapist?
No?!??
Screw you guys, I'm going home!
KCTL- I've come to the realization that if I get a job, any job, I just wind up hating it and then becoming one of THOSE bloggers who constantly bitches about work. I figure I'm doing you, my readers, a favor the least of which you could repay by chipping in on the mortgage.
J- I dunno, they're gonna want me to like, work and stuff. I can do better.
Beth- I don't suppose the work-sponsored massage includes a happy-ending, eh?
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