as told to (your name here)

F.A.Q. - Part II

Inanna wants to know about influence:
Boy, that's a really tough question and there are several answers depending upon what aspect of my life you want to talk about as I'm afraid there's no single person. My parents have a great deal of faith and patience with respect to family relationships (married 38 years). Richard Feynman had a fantastic view of the world, refusing to accept 'conventional wisdom'. Guys like Chuck Yeager refused to let people get in their way. David Sedaris teaches the value of making fun of your family whenever possible. Dennis Miller and Jon Stewart remind how much fun it is to make fun of everyone else. The Dalai Lama and others are helping me come to terms with happiness, vis-à-vis longing.

Sass wants a visual description:
My credit card is 3 3/8" x 2 1/8" x 1/32", rounded corners, light blue with raised black letters & numbers, a hologram of a dove on the front, and a magnetic stripe on the back. Decent credit limit (for an unemployed bum) and completely paid off at the moment.

(Any chance she meant me? *wink*)

I'm 5'9" 165# with short, straight, dark brown hair and green eyes. Last seen walking the neighborhood late at night. I got my hair and hands from mom's side, everything else is dad's. Good thing about the hair too, since it looks like I'll keep it, though it's noticeably greying now.

Jeanette wants to know where I'd vacation:
Assuming I could bend the laws of time & space (and money) to get there quickly, it's a toss-up between Kyoto, Japan and Hana, Maui, Hawaii. I've never felt a connection to a place, just walking the streets, like I did in Kyoto. Hana is the end of the earth as far as I'm concerned, as far away from civilization as I've ever been or ever need to go. Slightly closer to home, I'd probably go to Washington D.C. since I can spend a whole day in the National Gallery of Art alone.

Zelda wants to know about my social life:
I'm tempted to leave this part blank, as it would accurately describe my social life (0-7 lately), but then I'd be accused of being cryptic, deceptive, and/or evasive again. The truth is that I'm a virtual hermit. I lost my job 2.5 years ago and my wife was awarded custody of 'our' friends in the divorce a year and a half ago. I chose not to go back to work right away (because I want the right job, not just a job) and now I can't get an interview. So I go to school 3 nights a week and have a little social-interaction there. But since I'm living off my savings without any income, I have to be very strict with my money. Thus, my idea of fun is taking (free) pictures at the (free) park. And when I go to Nordstrom's it's to listen to the (free) pianist, not go shoe-crazy. Will you ever see me again? I'm parked out front...

Zelda also wants to know where I went to high school:
Clear Lake High, Houston, TX. Class of 1990.

1L wants to know about the unquestioned answers:
How long have I been divorced? 6 1/2 months (then)
Number of sexual partners? 3
When will I get my MBA? Dec '06, I think (now May '06)

ブレベン and Bonnie Heather want to know about their woman thing:
Honestly, I'm not very good with the cooter, but if you want me to take a look...sorry, nevermind. If I had to venture a guess, I'd say you're not spending enough time with your gays. It's a well-known (and scientifically documented) fact that women periodically (no pun intended) require the prescence of gay men. Something to do with estrogen, I think. But I'm not a doctor, I just play one.

And finally, what's the deal with the Numbers:
Apart from the obvious, that they're a cult of man-devouring she-devils (my sympathies to the spouses) the simplest explanation is kind of like Charlie Mackenzie's explanation of Scottish cuisine- it's all based on a dare. For several of them, and I won't mention names, there's also the alcohol factor: Take whatever the legal limit is in your jurisdiction and add .1, kind like the way your variable credit card rate is Prime + 3.5%. (Tinyhands reminds you to drink responsibly and always designate a driver.) No? Ok, they're just friends who drink a lot of Rockstar.

posted by tinyhands @ 11:59 PM