as told to (your name here)

Good Day - Bad Day

Yesterday and today have seen a huge spike in the number of daily visitors. I know this because of SiteMeter (ed.- First draft read SpiteMeter- interesting subconscious thought?) and destroying the guy who did that to me is still on my to-do list. Nearly double the number of visits over the last 2 days, and a lot of referrals courtesy of the "Next" blog button. I've added a few to my favorites, let's see if they can keep up whatever it is that attracted me in the first place. I really like seeing new people.

But in order to keep karmic balance in the universe, something bad had to happen. A few weeks ago I applied to a program within the MBA program that I thought would enable me to do what I think I want to do when I grow up. Foolishly I got my hopes up, and it never even crossed my mind that I wouldn't get accepted. Do you remember that line at the end of When Harry Met Sally? - not the orgasm scene - when Harry finally realizes he loves her, and says to her something to the effect of, "When you find the person you want to spend the rest of your life with, you want the rest of your life to start as soon as possible." That's how I finally felt about a career. Since I'm attempting to change careers mid-stream, I really needed this program to give me some credibility. It's not to be. I'm going to be stuck right where I am, advanced degrees or no.

And the see-saw swings upward again, as I just checked my voicemail to hear a message say "I've been thinking about you a lot lately" from the person I played phone tag with today. Just wonderful to hear that voice, although I can hear exhaustion in it which means we're not likely to spend time together any time soon. I got some net-hugs from friends online about the other news...I'd sure like a real hug from this person.

To crashing back to earth again, as I received news that my father's uncle has passed away. I don't remember the last time I saw him, so we weren't close. But I think this uncle was the last of my grandmother's siblings, which will be very difficult for her. My grandmother has outlived her husband by 14 years, defying the statistic about husbands and wives tending to die within a short time of each other (as my mother's parents did). She's in relatively good health, but I know I don't have much time left with her.

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I had intended to focus today's entry on the Pope's funeral which, as I write this, will commence in just a few hours. I've sort of lost my faith in God, Jesus, and the church in general over the last few years, but I've never had anything but respect and admiration for His Holiness. Most of us have only ever known one Pope in our lives, and he's seemed a frail old man for most of that time. Some of you think the church should get with the times and allow married priests, tolerate gays and abortion, and who knows what else. And while I may sympathize (and/or agree) with your beliefs I think you're missing the point. The church is not a democracy. The church exists, in part, to take a stand against what it believes is evil, regardless of "popular opinion". So part of my point is that, while I personally have lost some measure of faith and disagree with some of the teachings of the church, it is I who have left, not the church leaving me. I accept that. The other part is that I hope the next Pope continues the legacy of John Paul II to stand, alone if need be, unwaiveringly.

posted by tinyhands @ 11:59 PM