Brief
I was out tonight, watching the Rockets. My eyes are heavy and I didn't get to read all 70-something blogs today, so I'll let a little stream of consciousness out and catch up tomorrow...This isn't how it was supposed to go. It was supposed to be nervous and tenative, like it always is, but ultimately easy because once you break one rule you might as well break them all. And you could have justified breaking the rules because you both knew that there wasn't really anything of which to be afraid and you weren't compromising anything (well, anything that wasn't already compromised) and you certainly weren't hurting anything or anyone. You could say it was convenient, and maybe that's how you'd explain it to your friends. Would you prefer comfortable? They'd understand that no matter how skilled you are at picking them, one word doesn't tell the whole story. After everything everyone has been through, is going through, and will go through you told yourself not to go it alone. But, but, but. Fine, don't. As long as it's your decision and not the default option resulting from not making a decision. Or enjoy the status quo. Enjoy it, own it. Your complaints to the contrary will be heard but not understood. You must have been kissing a fool. Look it up.
*Update: Apologies to anyone who thought I was talking directly about him or her. I know I'm frequently obscure and cryptic (which I've begun to relish, by the way) and that might lead you to see your life on these pages. Truth be told (which I've also begun to relish, by the way) is that the stream of consciousness was inspired by spending a few hours with this person last night. I just twisted the perspective a bit. Mmm, relish.
posted by tinyhands @ 11:59 PM
6 Comments:
very interesting don.
Read that and could have sworn you were talking directly to me. Eerie.
Mimi- From time to time.
1L- Oh dear, I see what you mean. Sorry if that's made you uncomfortable. Not my intention to send out horrible secret messages.
Now that I re-read it (after following the link to the earlier post), I see it much clearer and not at all talking to me. Funny how you do that with your writing. Anyway, it was "..you told yourself not to go it alone. But, but, but. Fine, don't. As long as it's your decision and not the default option resulting from not making a decision." that rang true for me today.
Cryptic indeed.
I love your crytic stuff... sometimes i try to figure it out... mostly i love to let it wash over me... and sink in somewhere... beautiful as ever...
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