Monday, October 10, 2005

Still here

Yes, of course I'm still here. Where would I go? Rhetorical question, perhaps. Maybe not. I went for a very long walk the other night, trying to clear out the little snippets of conversations not fit for blogging and regrets of having said the right thing at the wrong time to the maybe person. At first, it was a conscious effort to clear my mind, which of course is the surest way to singlemindedly focus on those things. At the end of the block the perfect rhythmic blinking of a yellow traffic signal hypnotized me and it was all gone for a while. Other things came into view, like the sliver of a waxing moon, Venus and Mars following me around- an appropriate symbol I just now recognize. But I was in the walking zone and I found myself wishing I could just keep going, heading west out of town with no particular destination. At some point I turned around, my mental autopilot finding the route back. I heard all sorts of things in the music that night. Lyrics I know by heart but never paid attention to. I'm not sure who surprised me most, because it's not automatically a certain guarantee that everybody here would know exactly what I was talking about. Those were happy endings though.

Back at home and a day or two later I still feel the wanderlust, a desire to just look out the window and watch it all stream past. I'd throw my toothbrush and a blank spiral notebook into my backpack, Kerouac-style, without the drugs & booze (not that I've ever read any of that stuff). No cellphones, no laptops, no mp3 players. Maybe my camera. The Texas Eagle would get me to LA if I drive to San Antonio first. In the other direction it would take me to Chicago and I've never been up there. I'd like to someday see the Field Museum and the Art Institute. From there, I'd be willing to bet that the Lake Shore Limited is a beautiful trip right about now. In any case, it would be a long drive after class Thursday night, but the alternative is sitting around here waiting for adventure to happen to me? The timing isn't great but it would give me a means of escaping this weekend, that's for sure.

Sometimes you just know: 0-6-1.

4 Comments:

At 8:46 AM, Blogger boo said...

that sounds like a great idea... i loved your walk... sounds like you finally got to that space... where it all works... fantastic!... have a great time...

 
At 1:28 PM, Blogger Allie#3ga said...

honey, i always just know.
me, with the love - are you SURE we're not related?

 
At 8:42 PM, Blogger tinyhands said...

boo- I don't know if I walked far enough for it to all work, but I burned a few calories in the process.

Mimi- Glad I can count on you to know. Just don't tell yet, ok?

 
At 10:34 PM, Blogger Sass said...

ahh - wanderlust.

 

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