as told to (your name here)

News about the Gulf of Mexico Oil Spill

So about that whole 'changing-my-email-settings-so-that-I-can-update-more-often' thing... yeah, I still suck. I hope you'll find a way to cope with my too-infrequent updates, even if it means drinking more than you should. Others might choose to sleep around. Who am I to judge? Just don't become a hoarder, because it's a really trendy disease right now and you'd just look like a poser if you started now. That ship has sailed behind a big pile of clothes and Whataburger wrappers.

My mind has been preoccupied by a number of things, not the least of which is the depression bug. It bit me pretty hard a few months ago, causing a big red welt, and I had planned on blogging about it. But as my gramma used to say, "Plans are like cornholes," (or maybe it was excuses) and then I read some other guy's blog about depression and I got to thinking that I couldn't say it any better than that. So maybe I'd just post a link and add something pithy like, "that's what HE said." But I never got around to it, because that's what depression does to me, get in my way of getting around to it. Then I felt a little better and things were fine. Then things got a little bad again and I said to myself, "Self, fook this, go do something about it." So I made an appointment with a psychiatrist who gave me some little white pills. Except everyone knows that little white pills don't do anything. It's the pink ones or, in a pinch, blue ones that really work.

Oh man, I just read that my chloresterol (pronunciation courtesy of Justin Wilson) pills cannot be combined with grapefruit juice! Daaaang, I love grapefruit juice and I get these energy drinks from Target that are grapefruit flavored. But it blocks the enzymes from getting processed and they build up in your liver and you die. Dyin' to me don't sound like all that much fun, and nobody ever told me until I saw a teeny, tiny warning on the label. Maybe the Target-brand energy drinks don't have actual grapefruit juice. If real juice can kill me, then artificial flavors must be good for me.

I told the psychiatrist that the little white pills weren't making me feel that much better and that I was having trouble sleeping and didn't want to have to take an ambien every night and he said we could either try something else or try adding another drug to the cocktail. And my memory hasn't really been any better, which is a side effect of my depression that long-time readers will recall. But I also told him that I've got this really big project in the works and I was pretty stressed, so it was hard to tell what was weighing on me more. And then I slept really poorly the other night, again, so I decided to stop the little white pills altogether and I cancelled my appointment with him for this week and said that we'd start over when this project is finished.

And that is how I've been. I really just wanted to hint at the big project and leave ya'll wondering what it was. Stay tuned!

posted by tinyhands @ 1:45 PM