Wednesday, December 22, 2004

Merry Christmas dammit!

I had this long, thought-out Christmas wish that I wanted to write, but as I got about half of it down on screen I decided it was far too depressing. I don't care how well you know me, whether we're related or not, I will not be responsible for you taking a couple fistfuls of pills the day before the day before. Christmastime is depressing enough for many of us, I don't need you offing yourself on my conscience.

I'm afraid it will have to suffice it to say that I wish you a very Merry Christmas. I'm not going into all the permutations of holiday celebration that some of you may prefer. As far as I know, you're all adults and you're intelligent enough to know that, in 2004, if someone says "Merry Christmas" it's a genuine expression of sentiment, rather than an affirmative assertion of any specific religious belief.

On the other hand, if you're offended by my un-PC, non-secular expression of well-wishes, make sure to go fuck yourself for New Year's too. I don't have time for that shit.

Yours,
-tinyhands
  xxooxx

23 Comments:

At 3:43 AM, Blogger Badaunt said...

It may cheer you up to know that if you are a young unmarried person in Japan these days and you don't have a date for Christmas day (and preferably an OVERNIGHT date, in a hotel), you are a loser.

That's right. Somehow, Christmas in Japan has turned into a day when you go out for an expensive meal with someone you quite likely barely know, and then wrap up the evening with a bonk.

This means that when I tell my students "Merry Christmas," they snigger. Of course there are also Christmas trees everywhere and Christmas songs and Santa Clauses, and I don't know what the young people think all that has to do with dinner and a bonk, but I suppose it just adds to the general kinkiness.


Merry Christmas!

 
At 7:52 AM, Blogger Allie#3ga said...

Merry Christmas to you too tiny!

Was that an offer for a date on New Years? :)

 
At 9:34 AM, Blogger se7en said...

whew! i am glad you spared me the wrist slittin that i surely would have done if you had the other post up~lol

Mr Hands. I am happy to "know" you and I am pretty sure I would find anything you wish to write to be interesting, funny and witty.

Merry Christmas to you my friend and to your family!!

your
bud
seven

 
At 9:35 AM, Blogger se7en said...

Bitchcakes!!! =P

 
At 10:04 AM, Blogger Heather said...

Hmm...Bad day?

 
At 1:23 PM, Blogger me said...

this would've been a fabulous audio post, but i guess you didn't have time for that shit, either. merry blah blah blah.

 
At 1:43 PM, Blogger April said...

*sniff* *sniff* *wipes a tear away* That was beautiful man.

Happy holidays to you too ;o)

 
At 2:31 PM, Blogger Zelda said...

I wish you a Merry Christmas with all the joy as well. And I certainly hope YOU have something better to do on New Years. :-)

 
At 2:58 PM, Blogger tinyhands said...

Theic- How exactly is other people having loads of meaningless empty sex supposed to cheer me up?

Allie- Yep, there's a ticket waiting for you at the Southwest counter. Just keep asking them for it.

Lucky 7- And to you and yours, likewise and ditto as well.

Bonnie Heather- Yeah, I guess the Seasonal Affective Disorder finally caught up with me. Sorry, I know you don't like the swearing.

BourbonBabe- Yeah it would, wouldn't it? I'll see what I can do.

April- That's me, Mr. G-Damn Sensitive.

Zelda- Thank you sweetie. I've got a bottle of champagne chilling and a cuban cigar or two stashed away for next weekend.

 
At 7:06 PM, Blogger amy said...

Sincerely wanted to wish you a happy gift giving day tomorrow or Saturday or whenever the hell you open your socks and underpants or whatever else your folks give you. I love the fact that at times we share the same type of humor and I love the fact that on occasion you have come to my blog site and read a few of my own entries. And in all sincereity tiny hands, Merry Christmas. I have plans on being fucked by the Bartender on the 31st so with that happy sentiment...Peace, inky

 
At 9:13 PM, Blogger Jethro said...

Rock and roll Tiny! I love it! Merry Christmas to all (from a Buddhist)

 
At 1:16 AM, Blogger mellancollyeyes said...

i'm so glad that you, too, feel the christmas spirit...

if only everyone would and stop hanging their damn christmas lights up the day after thanksgiving...bastards.

but, all in all, merry xmas, you.

 
At 10:22 AM, Blogger Badaunt said...

Meaningless empty sex THAT COSTS A LOT. That's why.

Meaningless empty sex should be free.

 
At 12:09 PM, Blogger mellancollyeyes said...

hey thanks for the note.

seriously, merry christmas (no sarcasm in that).

 
At 6:39 PM, Blogger christ*el #3tx said...

WHEW.... its still the 25th and i would LOVE to take this time to wish you a merry christelmas, a happy kwanzaa, a cheery winter solstice and a very pleasant boxing day.

 
At 8:14 PM, Blogger Tasty said...

And a Merry Effing Christmas to you, too, love muffin. I hope it's deee-lightful and that you have a frightfully spiffy 2005, as well.

Hugs,
Stacey

P.S., If Bitchcakes comes to the big overheated city, I'm comin' with her. You've been warned.

 
At 7:26 AM, Blogger christ*el #3tx said...

if Stacey goes to texas, you better make sure that you have a deep freeze you can sticke her ass in about once avery 12 minutes. that girl is SO hot!

 
At 4:23 PM, Blogger Tasty said...

Christel made me snort!

 
At 2:32 PM, Blogger Inanna said...

Absolutely, empty meaningless sex should be free and bountiful. Happy whatever. I do not need a holiday to smooch about your face *muah* *muah* *smooooooooooch*

 
At 5:22 PM, Blogger Zelda said...

Sorry, I just got tired of looking at an uneven 19. I'm obsessive compulsive that way. When are you going to quit sucking heads and tell us more about China?

 
At 9:50 PM, Blogger tinyhands said...

But 19 is PRIME! You should know that, mathmatical prodigy that you are. ;)

Got back from 3 days in Louisiana with someone else's 3-year-old yesterday. What was I thinking, agreeing to spend a total of 12 hours in a car with a toddler? China resumes tonight.

 
At 10:44 PM, Blogger Zelda said...

You must be mad, darling. I wouldn't dream of spending 12 hours in a car with my 3 year old - and she's good. The 3 hours to Austin was hellish.

 
At 6:39 PM, Blogger The Tart said...

Only 1 bread crumb because of the F word ; )

Merry Christmas
; )

 

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